I've got to stop putting myself in these situations where my heart and strength are tested to the point of near exhaustion. It's taking its toll on me, I've lost my faith in men and their ability to love. I think more so that men can truly love anyone. I am not in love with the aspect of being in love, that concept annoys me. I just happen to be a person who loves hard, my heart is on my sleeve, it puts me in an extremely vulnerable and emotionally dangerous situation where im left beating myself up. I say I love hard, I put my all in never 50%. I can say in my adult life only 1 man has been able to step up to my level, we just unfortunately were too young at that time to understand married life... With this break up it has me thinking maybe there is a glitch in my thinking, maybe I'm wrong about my expectations..I've been told you shouldn't have expectations, because you'll just end up hurt.
So does that mean, you shouldnt expect for a man to be honest, caring, understanding, and put forth effort equal to at best to what you put into a relationship? Do you just accept half ass loved because to have the expectation of more is setting yourself up for failure? Do people view having expectations within a relationship as asking for perfection? I'm lost. If I go to a restaurant that's been raved about and won all kinds of accolades for its cuisine. If the food and service are horrible am I wrong for having expectations of the same when I sit to dine? So you date someone and they present a person who decent, kind, caring and wants love and is willing to work as a team seeing past imperfections, are you wrong in having the expectation that, that is who they are at their core?
Even though we all change and grow day-to-day while in love do we lay in wait for the shoe to drop and bullshit to creep in and destroy everything?... Do I stop having the expectation that if I love someone they will love me back maybe not the way I love them but still in itself show me genuine love back.
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